like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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