I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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