i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
