i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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