I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
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Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
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I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.