I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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