Dude my mom stole all your condoms
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...