I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
