If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!