Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.