I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
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I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
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So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.