he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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