Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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