i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
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To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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