I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
