you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
