You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
honey bunches of taint.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
