I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize