she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
