just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
