We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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