ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
