I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
