watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
