So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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