Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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