Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
