i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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