hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize