I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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