But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
