We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Of course I have a pirate flag
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
