no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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