Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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