i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Randomize
