I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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