If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
