I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Randomize
