She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
