dude i'm inner monologue high
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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