It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
