I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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