And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
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So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
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About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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