Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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