i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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