so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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