Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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