Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
