I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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