So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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