Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
