I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
