Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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