carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
