Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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