It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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