You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
