she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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