Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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