my being single is dangerous.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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