All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I am one with the molecules
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
