We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
if only i could text you this smell
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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