well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
