is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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